Some random thoughts*

Hasn't the weather been perfect!??? Hopefully the raging heat has left till next year.

 Finances have been so tight that JJ is contemplation getting another job :(  Then i really will never see him. It makes me feel so incompetent... This week we are applying for food stamps otherwise I'm just not sure how we will make it. And the sad thing is his job pays more than the typical one that most people have! The idea of having our own place again is pretty much impossible. Thank God for Trey's parents. This house has been such a blessing to us. I hope we don't over stay our welcome though.

stressed.

I wish i could say everything is ready for the arrival of my son, but alas. It's not. 

  On top of financial stress... i still have so much cleaning and preparation to complete before I am fully satisfied.

It's noon and we have been up and out of bed since 4am. Sleep is just not going to happen but moving around won't either!!! This part of my pregnancy has been by far the hardest.  

  I really need to organize my life.. it seems that everything is being drained out of me. These next few weeks i would like to relax and just not do anything and even not talk to anyone. The one person who just can not grasp this is my mother. She cares alot which of course is a good thing but right now i just wish she would except that fact that i want to be antisocial. She needs me to text and talk to her everyday and tries to tell me how i should be living. I'm 23 years old and have been on my own for almost 6 years. Why don't parents ever stop being controlling and seem to have that need to act as though their child is still young and dumb? Honestly, i love her but she stresses me out like no body else does. It seems as though i still don't have a say in my own life. I just want to live my own life. Live with loving parents who are there when you need them not overbearing ones that won't leave you alone.

8 Months Pregnant and FA - REAKING OUT!!!!

So recently my anxiety level has really shot up. 

Honestly people... the mere thought of delivery scares the living SHIT out of me.

Sorry, but i've got to be real here. A friend popped in to visit me today

and we just started talking about how epidurals hurt. FUCK. I really didn't put much thought into a 

ginormous needle piercing straight through my back bone.. like almost an entire foot of needle. 

Then of course the thought of NOT getting one and feeling all that pain is way too daunting.
SO YEAH.. i started crying. 

I am so overwhelmed i really cannot figure out what to do with myself. 

Sleeping is almost impossible these days and getting up to clean or just moving from room to room is painful.

It would be so easy to just pretend this wasn't happening.. but IT IS!!!!!

HELP.